The Best Part of Waking Up

The Best Part of Waking Up

On 4/5/10 Liz Cook and Rachael Scharett decided to write a novella. Each took turns writing a sentence without discussing the subject before or during the writing. Liz wrote the first sentence, then Rachael wrote the second, and so on…this is the outcome.

Many People drink coffee…but few drink coffee just to die.

Cecelia Flounderson was determined to change this fact.

Cecelia was a swarthy man, but hid beneath his glistening skin, rippling muscles and perfectly proportioned body a gentle soul.

Compassion was one of his best qualities and thus he knew that for some people, the best part of waking up was not waking up.

One day, as he casual sipped his morning cup of Absolut, Cecelia decided it was time.

The world was becoming over run with small children so he heroically devised a plan to single handedly solve overpopulation.

“What,” he wondered, “could I devise to enter the home of every American family and gently summon the Death Angel?”

Then, like a frosting covered midget stripper from a cake, an idea of pure genius popped up in his brain.

Uncle Wanda, who currently resided under Brad Pitt’s diving board for “journalistic reasons,” had all the connections Cecelia needed.

He pointed out to his nephew that there was one delight everyone, including the bod-god Mr. Pitt himself, partook of daily. In a resonating voice as rich and deep as music from a Bose radio, he spoke: “COFFEE.”

It seemed to be shear brilliance that what some considered “the nectar of the gods” would soon become the Jeffery Dahmer of the earth; eating at the insides of people young and old.

He could have wept at the beauty of it.

Cecelia and his dear Uncle Wanda went straight to work creating a mystical coffee additive that would be undetectable yet lethal.

Aside from brief journalistic investigations of Hugh Laurie and Liza Minelli, only one of which involved loss of limb, their research progressed smoothly.

Within, a fortnight their death elixir was complete and they began to lay out lans to sneak it into the local Starbucks supply.

Unfortunately for the luscious Cecelia and his deep, crystalline blue eyes and bulging biceps, but fortunately for the world, Angelina Jolie shot them dead with a bow and arrow on live television.

But, alas, the potion had already been added to coffee supplies worldwide and as Angelina tried to explain this to the television audience the writers of this story began to desire a delicious barbeque down by the pond of their apartment complex so they decided to use a run on sentence to inform the reader that the world did drink the tainted coffee however the potion turned out to be flawed and everyone was transformed into vampire bunny rabbits, forever.

The End